yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
