We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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