Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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