i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i think im in europe. pls send help
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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