So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
