I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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