real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
