All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
