well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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