Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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