That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
