It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
