hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
