I got chris browned last night
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
