Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Couch. On fire.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
