stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
