@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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