took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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