So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found the puke drawer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize