I'm really into asian looking animals
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
