it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
