I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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