So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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