just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
