Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
