You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
