So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
