Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
