What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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