doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize