i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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