She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
