$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
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