in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
