I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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