do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
