It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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