i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
