I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
