Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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