honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
