I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Randomize
