You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
dude i'm inner monologue high
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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