she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
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