he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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