He asked to "fluff my boner.."
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize