I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
