Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
