WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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