i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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