God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I want to make a zoo with you.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize