my shit smells like andre
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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