i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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