She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
