is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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