I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
