i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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