And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
