Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
